How to Cope with Depression

Depression is a really hard thing to deal with – many people in America are really struggling with this condition. Believe it or not, you can still bloom in your depression and we’re going to take a look at how that is possible. 

These days, there is a lot of advice for people with depression – some of it good, some of it not so good. I’m going to talk about what I think is the best and worst advice from people for depression. So, depression is one of those kinds of things that everybody wants to tell you, ‘just pick yourself up, just move forward, just go, do something’ and the person with depression says, ‘no, I can’t. If I could, I would do it.’

Support for Depression 

This is what brings me to the best and the worst for people with depression and that is: “DO.” Okay, so, I probably just said exactly what everybody else keeps telling you, right? And you’re sitting here going, ‘no, I have depression and I can’t do.’  Okay but you can. It’s hard, right? It’s super hard. You can do. Why is that the worst advice? Because that is the last thing you wanted to hear. That is the last thing that you wanted somebody to tell you, because they have already told you that over and over again and you have already rejected that. But I want you to give me a chance here. 

If we “do,” then this puts into play some kinds of ideas on physics here. An object in motion stays in motion, but right now you’re stuck. So, we need to do a couple of things. We need to be able to apply some kind of force to you to get you moving again, so, who is going to do that? Other people around you have probably tried to push you and you probably rejected that. But that’s okay because now it is your turn to push yourself.

I am going to take you back a little bit and tell you a story about a client that I met with. He was really struggling in his life with what he was going to be doing next – he was in his mid 50’s and he was really having a hard time. He had wrestled with addiction in the past. He was really down on himself. He wasn’t working. He wasn’t doing the things that he felt would bring him joy in his life. So, I shared with him a story.

The story goes like this. When I was about 25 or 26, I was struggling in my life. I thought by the time I was 25 I was going to get married, have a job, start my career, be done with school, have a family (either a child on the way or already have a baby) and even be in my first starter home, or at least moved into an apartment of my own. But I had none of that. I was still going to school. I was still living at my parents’ place. I had a piece of crap part-time job. I didn’t even have any prospects for a girlfriend, let alone a wife. So that meant no kids. And I was really, really frustrated. 

I was talking to my Mom one night and she gave me some advice. She said, “you know, you have always been kind of a late bloomer.” And I thought, “okay, a late bloomer.” To me, that made a lot of sense. To you, you might be saying, ‘that sounds kind of derogatory and why would she say that to you?’ But what it meant to me was that I hadn’t bloomed yet. Because I was still going to school, I was still trying. I was working. Right? I was moving myself forward. I just thought that I was supposed to be at a different point in my life. And so, what she was basically telling me was to be patient and keep moving forward.

And so, when I started to share this with my client, he looked at me and said, “Clint, I have already bloomed!” And I said, “well, flowers bloom more than once.” And that brings us to this type of idea. Do. Move forward. Allow yourself an opportunity to bloom (even if you’ve already bloomed). Because what does a flower need to bloom again and again? Well, a flower needs three basic things. It needs water, sunshine and good soil. Of course, it needs oxygen, and you should all be breathing and that’s a good thing too (but I am not going to focus on that here). We need these things in our lives to help us to bloom.

How to Manage Depression 

For the first piece of advice, drink water. It’s good for you. I am not going to say that it completely transforms your mental health state, but drinking water is a really good thing and there is a lot of research on the subject.  It’s actually going to be these next components that are really important. 

Sunlight. You need to get out. Get out. Get up and get out in the sun. Now don’t go out a bake yourself and get a bad sunburn, because that is not what we’re really looking for here, right?  But the idea is to get out of your house. Go and do something. Go and do something that you used to enjoy. Go and do something and discover something new. Go out. Get out of your house.

Okay, so now what’s the good soil thing? The good soil thing is really important too and it means this: you need good ground that nurtures you. Surround yourself with supportive, validating people. And when I say validating, I mean people who validate the good parts of you. Not validate the negative parts or the terrible things that you have done or have been subject to in your life – that’s not what I am talking about. I am talking about the people that build you up and encourage you that see the value in you. Surround yourself with those people. See, when we are depressed we have a tendency to isolate ourselves and pull ourselves away from those connections. But we need to get back into those connections. Use those connections, those people that have been telling you that they do care about you. They want you to succeed. You want you to succeed. So, go out and do.

Now, this is a really hard thing – at least, I believe this is a hard thing. But I also believe that you can do hard things. I don’t think that this ‘doing’ is the hardest thing that you have ever done. It might feel like it right now, but the reward and the value that you are going to get out of this is going to be so huge for you. It is going to show you that you matter. It is going to show you what kind of person you really are. And it is going to allow you to have the opportunity to bloom.

Depression Support and Therapy in Las Vegas 

if you are struggling with depression, I’d love to hear from you. And maybe we can come up with some ideas as a community to get you back out there to give you what it is that you need to bloom again. Reach out today and we can figure this out together. Please call 702-682-6080 – I have immediate openings and I’m here to help.